Here's my friend Patrick's prom story - a truly talented writer (he's the one hosting the adult prom on August 9. What are you doing that evening?.....):
It's a funny thing about high school. Most of us thought we were awkward, alone and nobody understood us, even the cool ones and the jocks felt like outsiders. And to be honest, I think many of us spend the rest of our lives either trying to live up to and or, moving beyond who we were in high school. In a conversation I had with my mom a few years ago, I said to her I find it difficult at times to come to grips with turning 40, because I can still remember clearly being 14. Her response was "how do you think I feel?". My mom is 77.
About high school. Well, duh. We were teenagers. Have you taken a look at them lately. Two weeks ago I spent 4 days in the company of about 100 teens and pre-teens for a show at Theater Artaud. I can say without a doubt that with the exception of maybe 2 very outgoing boys, everybody was awkward, uncool, nerdy, stupid, loud, an idiot, unfinished, young, nervous, self conscious to the point of being afraid of not the adults but each other. Ever year I get older, 44 now, I look back and realized I had not a chance with Kim Dennis, who was a senior when I asked her to my junior prom. It was my year of blackouts, because there seems to be not much I can remember during the period from when I stopped thinking she was so crazy looking with her afro/bouffant hairdo, to me realizing she was the love of my life and had to ask her out, only to be confronted with her completely transforming herself that year from bookish honor roll model student to cheerleader hottie, honor roll student. The best thing she ever did for me was to graduate a year before me. But there is still one thing that haunts me to this day. During a dance that was held at the school late one Friday night, she came to the back of the darkened cafeteria and stood with her back to me for about two songs. I was so broken, dejected, crushed that I couldn't even say a word to her. It was only when I was an adult looking back on that moment that I realize what she was doing. It is probably the singular moment that I wish I could relive. Maybe when the day comes that I see Elvis and grandma standing in a while light of peace and love shall I get a do-over.
I never went to my prom. For one, I attended a technical high school in Bridgeport, Connecticut. A school that had a 3 to 1 population when it came to boys versus girls. If you can imagine, I left high school at 6 feet 2 inches tall, weighing 135 Lbs. And this was in the days before the crack epidemic. Some of my friends even referred to me as "Bones", not the doctor from Star Trek, but just in physical appearance. But I two years after I took a friend to hers because her boyfriend who was attending law school asked me to. So, I guess I am one of the only men who ever got asked to a prom by another guy. They got married years later, had a daughter, then got divorced. All before I moved to San Francisco. Let that be a lesson to my younger self. Be careful what you wish for...
As I have gotten older I have also gotten some insights into what girls find attractive at that age. Hair. Heide Kline was voted best hair because she was one of the few natural blonds and had the Farrah Fawcett feathered hair thing going for her. Those of us with kinky short and curlies didn't have a chance, no matter how high you could pile your outdated Afro.
I attended my 20th anniversary and found Heide still looked pretty much the same, the hair a little darker, shorter and she was coping with an ex-husband who left her and a teenager daughter. He was her prom date also. Thing was, she was not a friendly person and seemed to only hang with the same gang, even though she traveled from Miami, to get there. I by the way, got the award for farthest traveled. Seems folks still live within 20 minutes of were we grew up. In all aspects of my former life, I too probably should have stayed in that area had it not been for my musical wanderlust. I mean, I had a good job working as a reporter for the third largest newspaper in the state and was saving up money through my 401K Plan to buy into a condo, maybe find a nice gal, have a kid or two and settle in for a long life in which I would check out at my desk surrounded by empty peanut shells, only to be found the next morning after my co-workers realized I wasn't sleeping, as usual...
Well, that's all been shot to pieces now. The gal and I broke up in 2001, and she has since moved back to Korea. The $13,000 in savings have all been spent in hotel rooms and gas stations during my travels to realize my dreams, settling in to San Francisco with just enough to make the down payment on my studio which I struggle to keep open each month, but been at it since 1995.
So in essence, I am trying to live the impossible dream of attending my prom and having a good time with people I want to be around and have fun with and maybe save the world while I am at it. Or just my soul.
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